Avast Me Hearties This Be a Pirate Mini-Story

[Genre: fiction, humour, short story]

The child slumped through the front door after school. Despair hanging above her head like a plump rain cloud.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I have to write a poem.”

“That doesn’t sound so hard.”

“About pirates.”

“You can do it.”

“Why didn’t they ask us to do something good, like a poem about chocolate cake?”

She was extremely poetically challenged. I could understand her misery. I thought for a few moments, thinking I could come up with something that would inspire her. “How about this?”

Avast me hearties
Cap be me name
I carry a cutlass
And pirate’s me game

From up in the rigging
To down in the hold
Me favourite doodads
Be jeweled and gold

If ye have a craving
To plunder the seas
Grab yer cutlass and eyepatch
And set sail with me


I trailed off, “…Yo…ho…”

She burst into tears, running into her room to cry in the dark. Apparently I had made things worse. I thought some more before joining her. Giving her a gentle back rub.

“You can use my poem,” I said.

“It’s plagiarism,” she wailed.

“I think it will be okay. You’re only ten years old; you’re not going to get expelled if they find out. Anyway, who’s going to know?”

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Jan L. Mayes MSc writes horror fiction and non-fiction, and is an Eric Hoffer Award winning author, blogger, and audiologist. She’s a member of A Writer’s Path Writing Club and The Ladies of Horror Fiction. Her writing has been featured at Tinnitus Today, Communique, and The Right to Quiet Society.

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