My brother and I were crammed into the bank’s private room, going through papers in Mother’s safety deposit box. With her knowledge and permission, of course. I picked up a thick folded document on legal paper. Stunned into silence when I discovered what it was.
Mother always told us our Dad abandoned us when I was 3. Took off and never looked back. She was the one stuck with us “ungrateful bastards.” Her life destroyed by having children. The catch phrase as long as I could remember was, “I rue the day I ever had you.”
The legal document was a judge’s decision on my father’s request for full custody in their divorce. It’s not surprising the judge ruled against Dad and gave him no visitation rights. It was the 1960s. At the time, courts usually decided in favour of children staying with their mother. Little did the judge know she was mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive.
Almost everything I’d been told about my Father was lies. I rarely saw him over the years. When I did, our visits always had an undercurrent of sadness and pain. Stemming from my broken heart that my Dad didn’t want me. No Father’s Day card applied, since I wasn’t the apple of his eye and we had no history of shared quality time.
It’s too late now that he’s dead.
Sometimes I imagine the conversations we could have had. Or the relationship we might have enjoyed if the truth had been spoken.
My heart hurts more this Father’s Day than any before. Now that I know what might have been.
Quiet cheers to Dr. Arline Bronzaft who contributed the timely and important chapter on community noise risk to public health in the context of crime, human rights, etc.
Book description includes: “This panoramic yet concise 230-page volume is designed for students and professionals in the behavioral sciences, psychology and social work to provide state-of-the-art information on how behavioral scientists are addressing diverse global issues today. Each chapter offers a concise overview of a topic, including a glossary of current concepts, and citations to current research.”
Link to new book: Behavioral Science in the Global Arena: Addressing Timely Issues at the United Nations and Beyond.
This recent NYT article by Joyce Cohen identifies evidence-based noise risk info for parents and others on How to protect kid’s ears from constant headphone use. It’s not just kids. Everyone who listens at >50% volume is at risk of permanent progressive hearing health damage. Teach children to keep the volume <50% to protect their hearing, speech understanding, and music clarity for future quality of life. Teach children to entertain themselves with activities that don’t include using headphones with devices.
Photo by Mpumelelo Macu on Unsplash
Frequently Asked Question
My doctor recommends an MRI test, but I’m afraid the loudness will make my hyperacusis or tinnitus worse. What should I do?
Continue reading Will MRI Testing Make Tinnitus or Hyperacusis Worse?
Due to popular demand, I’ve published a general second edition of Tinnitus Toolbox Hyperacusis Handbook. This is an abridged version of the original book. Changes include fewer acronyms, less science, and only general information on noise-induced damage. The general version book is available in ebook and paperback versions.
The Desk Reference Edition is the original content version with acronyms and plain language reviews of evidence-based science including noise risk to hearing health. This book is only available in paperback.
For more details, please use this link to read the Press Kit for Tinnitus Toolbox Hyperacusis Handbook.