New Product Increases Worker Productivity

Employers and workers are applauding the recent launch of The Isolator. Developed with the help of a Kickstarter campaign, The Isolator won the 2018 Workwear Design Award for best new product. Independent scientific testing proves this product increases focus and concentration leading to 117% increase in workplace productivity. That’s more than twice as good.

The Isolator’s revolutionary vintage design completely cuts off all outside sound, while the eye socket slits focus the worker’s visual attention only on their task. The oxygen supply enters through the nose tube, keeping the worker fresh and awake. For convenience, purchase includes 1 replacement portable oxygen concentrator and auto mandatory enrollment into The Isolator’s convenient portable oxygen concentrator subscription service (shipping and handling not included).

Open office design plans causes noise to drift among the peons while the big bosses get offices with doors. This noise disturbs workers from their primary objective: watching Game Grumps videos on YouTube and playing Animal Crossing. I mean, work. Work is the primary objective. And if this workwear doesn’t get workers working, then The Isolator doesn’t live up to this promotional advertising campaign.

Happy April Fool’s Day! You can’t buy The Isolator. It was invented in 1925 and isn’t sold anymore for some reason.

Jan Mayes

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